Monday, May 26, 2014


Astounding to see that I have not posted here since December 2012 but the past year and a half have been rather massive in terms of change for me.

I have been dealing with family illnesses and surgeries, deaths of loved ones, happening upon the love of my life (whom I've been with for over a year now), trips to Virginia, Washington DC, and Arizona, work and publishing deadlines, coming out as a bisexual to my family, a move from the country to the city, the births of two new family members, financial scares, and much more.

Some of the events that have taken place since I was last here have aggravated my anxiety and depression to an overwhelming extent - sometimes including rather dark periods and places where my trust issues have been exacerbated. As such, I have fully left Gaol Naofa (and the online GP community). While I still support the organisation’s efforts and wish them all the happiness and success, I am no longer a part of the organisation for personal reasons. 

My life is merely going in another direction. In 2015, I might even possibly be relocating to California and with that I'll be entering the whole new world of stress and anxiety that comes with a cross-country move. Because of that, I need to switch priorities onto taking care of myself and my family. While the community will always be in my thoughts, I can no longer devote substantial time to it. My mental health will not allow it, and I need to focus on healing.

With the death of my grandfather last spring, my spirituality became more of an intellectual pursuit rather than a living practice. I could read history books, articles, dissertations, etc and write about Gaelic Polytheism and the Gaelic cultures but as far as wanting to practice it, no. I felt a distance growing in me with his death - never had I lost someone that dear and close to me. It was an earth-shattering blow. Thus, part of the healing I need to do lies in finding myself within my practice again.

Some of the changes happening here will hopefully include me blogging a bit more, but it's even quite possible I start afresh somewhere else. We shall see.


  1. I hope coming out to your family went smoothly!

    I am so sorry to hear of all the hardships. I know you don't know me very well (or probably at all...) but I recently joined Gaol Naofa. Just before you left, if I am recollecting the dates correctly. So if there is anyway I can help, I'd gladly do it. (Though I fear these types of situations are beyond someone-from-Nebraska.)

    I wish you well on your journeys--both outwardly and inwardly.

    1. Thank you, Allec, for taking the time to comment with such a lovely message.

      Coming out to my family has been, intense, but none have really rejected me save for one. A cousin in Virginia seems to not speak to me online via Facebook anymore since I came out there to my non-local family and friends :/ We'll see how it all goes next time we meet in person. I've yet to come out to my grandparents though. My grandmother isn't in good shape and I just don't think the news would be helpful towards her rehabilitation so it'll remain with myself and the other family members for now, if not forever regarding her.

      I hope you enjoy being with Gaol Naofa. It's a great place for Gaelic Polytheists, and definitely the best and most traditional within the CR community. I hope they continue on with their mission and work, and keep growing.

      I further appreciate your offer to help. I will keep that in mind and it does me well to hear, but for now I think this is a journey I need to traverse mostly on my own, leaning on family along the way. But truly, thank you.

      I wish you all the best :)